WHATS HOLDING YOU BACK?

5/1/2024

This entry was inspired by a conversation about the subconscious mind, self-sabotoge and how it relates to societal systems. A quick disclaimer, I certainly don't have all the answers about that specific connection at that scale, but it's interesting to consider, do we build our own personal flaws into our macro-systems? 

I thought it might be useful to explore the nature of limiting beliefs as they do strike at the root of most of life's "challenges"... I believe It's common for creatives to experience this since I often read artists talking about mental health and depression. Please be prepared for a long and information-dense article. Apologies if it's not exactly bite-sized or easily digestible.

Exploring Limiting beliefs

Let's explore some ideas around "what holds us back" where it relates to our pursuits as creatives. for example, let's say you're a recording artist and your mix has some issues leaving you telling yourself 'I suck, I'll never be good enough.' It's likely not a matter of the quality of your gear, which DAW, or which plugins you're using, a common misconception - 'if i just upgrade this or that, then I'll be better at ____ - but let's dig deeper, what's at the root to prevents success?

Let's talk about limiting beliefs.

We can address limiting beliefs through the shifting of mindset, sounds simple right? Easy in principle but Difficult in practice. How can one unlock his/her full potential? How does one overcome obstacles, to pursue dreams with confidence, with resilience, with passion? Results don’t happen immediately but the development of this internal skill through the training of one’s mind can be key to breaking free of negative cycles and achieving better results faster.

Identifying Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs, which are thoughts or beliefs that hold one back from achieving a goal or pursuing creative aspirations, may include self-doubt, fear of failure, imposter syndrome, or beliefs about a lack of talent, skill, worthiness, or potential for success. So how does one recognize and identify a limiting belief? identifying limiting beliefs requires introspection, self-awareness, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable thoughts and emotions. This can be challenging because this process is often met with inner resistance from past-habits that have taken deep root. By recognizing and acknowledging that it is indeed possible to identify these beliefs in the first place, one can take the first step towards a shifting of mindset to unlock the real potential never-before thought possible.

 Understanding Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are deeply ingrained thoughts or beliefs that hold one back from pursuing goals or expressing oneself fully. These beliefs can stem from past experiences, societal norms, comparison to others, or internalized criticism. Examples might include:

• "I'm not talented enough to succeed."

• "Nobody will like my work."

• "I'm afraid of failure."

• "I don't deserve success."

• "I'll never be as good as [________]."

 If you notice yourself drifting towards negativity as a first reaction, ask yourself,

• where does this come from?

• ​Is there a way I can reframe this in a more useful way?
  

Patterns of Self-Sabotage
One may not notice patterns of self-sabotage, procrastination, or avoidance in the creative process and may find themselves making excuses, playing it safe, or holding back from taking risks in their artistic pursuits without even knowing that it's happening. These patterns often stem from the underlying limiting beliefs that undermine confidence, motivation, and sense of worthiness.

 Reflective Practice
Engage in reflective practice to identify limiting beliefs. Introspection, journaling, or discussing thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend, mentor, or even therapist can be helpful in uncovering where the blind spots are located.

Ask probing questions such as

• "What beliefs or thoughts hold me back from fully expressing myself?"

• "When do I feel most self-critical or doubtful about my abilities?"

• "What fears or insecurities arise when I think about pursuing my creative goals?"

• "how do I feel about this?"

• "why do I feel this way about this?"

External Feedback
Seek external feedback from trusted sources to gain perspective on limiting beliefs. Friends, mentors, or coaches can offer insights and observations about patterns of behaviour or thought that may uncover the underlying limiting beliefs. Do your best to remain open to the feedback you receive. Sometimes this type of insight can be difficult to accept though. Someone with an outside perspective can provide constructive feedback and support to help to point out blind spots to help you identify these limiting beliefs so that you can begin to address them in a supportive environment. If someone is willing to engage in this process, it's likely because they care and want to help, not because they want to crush your creative spirit. Keep in mind that criticism can get heavy sometimes, It can be useful to separate yourself from the limiting belief. for example saying, "My work is not its best quality because I have more to learn," rather than "I am not good at mixing and nobody is going to like it."

Mindfulness and Awareness
The concepts of mindfulness and self-awareness might sound new-agey and woo-woo to someone not familiar with the usefulness of this tool for self-betterment. Exploring your own subconscious mind allows you to become more attuned to thoughts and emotions that may signal limiting beliefs. Observe the inner dialogue without judgment to notice when and where negative or self-critical self-talk arises. Through the cultivating of mindfulness, one begins to recognize which beliefs are limiting and their source of what's causing them. From there, one can take steps to challenge and overcome them. Remember, this is not an instant gratification process. it happens slowly, over time. Be Patient!

Challenging Negative Self-Talk

It's possible to challenge negative self-talk and self-limiting beliefs by questioning their validity and examining evidence to the contrary. Reframe negative thoughts into positive ones that reinforce strengths, capabilities, and potential for growth. By challenging negative self-talk and reframing self-limiting beliefs, one can cultivate a more positive mindset that fuels creativity, resilience, and self-confidence. This practice is essential for overcoming obstacles, pursuing artistic aspirations, and realizing full potential.

Questioning the Validity of Negative Thoughts

Negative self-talk can be negated by finding the evidence supporting the positive reframe of the once-limiting belief. Consider whether there is objective evidence to support the negative thoughts or if they are only based on past assumptions, past-experiences, or from unfounded fears. What if you re-framed the negative self-talk to be more positive and constructive, does it offer a solution? Does it provide clarity on how it might be possible to move forward with more confidence?

Cognitive Distortion

A few examples of distorted thinking patterns might be things like black-and-white thinking, catastrophizing, or overgeneralization. Identify common Cognitive distortions that contribute to negative self-talk. These distortions may include all-or-nothing thinking (seeing things as only good or bad), personalization (blaming oneself for events outside of their control), or magnification (exaggerating the importance of perceived flaws or mistakes). By recognizing cognitive distortions, one can begin to untangle the negative thoughts and replace them with more balanced and rational perspectives.

Refuting Negative Beliefs

Challenge negative beliefs by gathering evidence to the contrary. Identify instances where you have demonstrated strength, resilience, or creativity, even in the face of challenges or setbacks. These instances don't have to be directly connected to your immediate goal, the main purpose is to find evidence to unlock a sense of confidence. Through a conscious awareness of past successes and positive attributes, one can counteract negative self-talk and build more confidence in one’s abilities. It's in you already, all that's needed is to find it.

Reframing Negative Thoughts

The word 'affirmation' is another new-age woo-woo word that some people use to poison the well. The purpose of an affirmation is in the root of the word affirm, it acts as a positive reinforcement that helps to re-write deeply rooted limiting beliefs to bring them into a more positive alignment.

• Reframe negative thoughts into more positive and empowering ones that reinforce the strengths, capabilities, and potential for growth.

• Replace self-defeating statements with affirmations that emphasize talents, resilience, and worthiness.

• For example, instead of saying, "I suck," reframe it as "I realize that I still have more to learn."

Practicing Self-Compassion

Compassion is Care. Self-compassion is important to consider when challenging limiting beliefs as they help one remain confident even if the results aren't immediate. We all make mistakes along the way, it is okay not to be all-perfect all the time. It can be much more difficult to reinforce a negative pattern with more negativity. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding when it comes to your self-talk. As you start becoming conscious of the idea of self-compassion, you might catch yourself saying things like "I can't ___", especially during moments of self-doubt, under criticism, or in high-stress situations. Everyone experiences setbacks and challenges, if you catch yourself responding to challenges with self-doubt or criticism, see if there's a way to reframe it more constructively. Self-compassion can help you navigate these difficulties with greater resilience and self-acceptance. One great exercise to help you build a habit of self-compassion is a simple rubber band technique.

Growth Mindset - as the essence of Hustle Culture.

A growth mindset is rooted in the consistent search for self-betterment. It is possible to foster an unwavering belief that abilities and talents can be developed through dedication, effort, and learning. View challenges as opportunities for growth, setbacks as learning experiences, and criticism as constructive feedback that can lead to improvement and evolution. Sounds simple right? It's all a matter of perspective.

Understanding the Growth Mindset

The concept of a growth mindset, developed by psychologist Carol Dweck, it is based on the belief that abilities and talents can be developed through dedication, effort, and learning. In contrast to a fixed mindset, which views abilities as innate and unchangeable, a growth mindset recognizes that skills and talents can be cultivated and improved over time with practice and perseverance.

Emphasizing Effort and Learning

The Growth mindset emphasizes the importance of effort, practice, and continuous learning. you've heard the saying 'do the work' right? Embrace challenges as opportunities and approach them with a sense of curiosity and experimentation. Progress and improvement come through consistent effort and a willingness to step outside of the comfort zone.

Setbacks as Learning Experiences

One technique to overcome limiting beliefs is to view setbacks and failures as valuable learning experiences rather than indicators of lack of worth or inability, this allows one to get motivated by things that might otherwise cause procrastination and resilience where one might otherwise give up. Again, it's the idea of reframing. A setback can be an opportunity to identify areas for improvement, to learn from mistakes, and to develop resilience and perseverance. It comes with time. It comes with practice. Setbacks are a natural part of the human experience and each failure is simply one step closer to success.

Challenge Accepted

By embracing challenges and pushing beyond perceived limits, one can achieve desirable results. Don't be afraid to set ambitious but realistic goals that expand one’s skills and abilities and provide opportunities for growth and development. Tackling difficult tasks and overcoming obstacles is essential for building confidence, resilience, and expertise.

Seeking Constructive Feedback - Who can I learn from? Who can help me?

Seeking constructive feedback from mentors, peers, or critics as a way to support one’s growth and development is a direct-guidance approach that can rapidly expand one’s abilities. Remember to look for the learning opportunity in any criticism and use it as a catalyst for improvement rather than as a personal attack that makes you angry.

• Receive feedback with an open mind

• Reflect on the insights gained and use them to inspire you to refine your skills and techniques.

Celebrate Progress and Effort

Results take time. Acknowledge the progress, effort, and achievements along the way, no matter how small. What did that 'win' feel like? Satisfaction can be found in even the smallest achievements, all it takes is to notice them and celebrate them as they happen. Hold onto that feeling. Recognize and acknowledge your hard work, perseverance, and dedication, regardless of the outcome since each step is one step closer. By celebrating the effort and progress, it can help you stay motivated through the challenging parts so be encouraged to stay motivated, continue pushing through, and maintain a positive and growth-oriented mindset.

To overcome negative thought patterns and grow, start by paying attention to your thoughts without judging them. If you notice negative self-talk ask yourself if there's evidence to support it and try to see things from a different and more useful angle. Be open to hearing different perspectives from others and remember that it's okay not to have all the answers right away. Instead of expecting big changes overnight, focus on taking small steps toward your goal and celebrating the progress along the way. Don't be afraid to ask for help from people you trust and listen to their advice to help you learn and grow.

Setting Realistic Goals

Setting realistic and achievable goals that align with values, aspirations, and creative vision. Many struggle to grasp how to do this. It's alright to work from intuition alone, but by taking steps to truly understand the nature of what one aims to accomplish, it can bring more clarity to the steps are required to make progress. I think of this as front-loading a bit of work to plan for success, which leads to daily actions that flow easily with less stress and less wasted effort in the long run. Break down goals into manageable steps and celebrate even the smallest wins along the way, reinforcing the sense of accomplishment for motivation to keep the momentum going.

I once asked an artist from a rock band what his goal was. He told me he wanted to be bigger than the Beatles. A noble goal yes. Realistic? time will tell... Setting realistic goals is essential to help one stay focused, motivated, and grounded. Start by aligning goals with values and aspirations.

• "What do I Believe in?"

• "What do I want to achieve?"

• "what does success look like once it is achieved?"

• "What does success feel like?"

Next, break goals into manageable steps and prioritize tasks based on importance. It reminds me of that advice from the business-hustle-coach world which almost seems cliche at this point, but nonetheless valid. The best goals are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Again, recognize the achievements to keep morale up and stay motivated. This allows for steady progress while training the mind to overcome limiting beliefs at the same time. Use it to your advantage to achieve those creative aspirations.

Goals in alignment with Values and Aspirations

Set goals that align with values and aspirations. The end result is that working towards the goal will feel effortless and if it doesn't feel right, it may be an opportunity to re-assess your values and adjust the goal to be more in alignment to ensure that efforts are directed towards what truly matters and applied in a way that makes sense at a personal level.

Breaking Down Goals into Manageable Steps

Break down larger, long-term goals into smaller, more manageable steps or milestones. Imagine the view from a 10,000-foot view and gradually lower 'elevation' to bring the focus all the way down to ground level. 'Okay, what’s next, what’s next?' This technique for Goal-Setting makes said goals less overwhelming and allows one to focus on one small step at a time.

Be specific and concrete when defining the big picture and as specific as possible with the steps that follow, outlining the actions one needs to take to move closer to their goals. At the same time, don't be afraid to make minor adjustments along the way. Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs. Principles and beliefs can change over time. It's okay to remain flexible in the moment. Being too rigid in the act of working towards a goal that  is unrealistic can lead to more uncertainty and overthinking. Flexibility matters a lot to prevent this. Remember, the points above about re-framing limiting beliefs?

Prioritizing Goals and Tasks

Prioritize goals and tasks based on importance and urgency. The exact way to structure the importance here depends on you and your approach to getting-things-done. Ask yourself, what is the most essential task towards the current priority? What tasks need to be completed first to make progress? What tasks are simply 'someday-maybe?' focus on high-priority goals and tasks, to use time and energy efficiently and effectively..

I mentioned before about SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. You've likely heard this before. Here's a quick review:

• Specific: Clearly define what they want to accomplish.

• Measurable: Identify specific criteria for measuring progress and success.

• Achievable: Ensure that the goals are realistic and attainable given their resources and abilities.

• Relevant: Make sure the goals align with their values, aspirations, creative vision, and overarching objective.

• Time-bound: has a clearly defined timeframe for achieving each goal to create a sense of accountability.

Building Self-Confidence

Self-confidence seems to come naturally to some and be extremely difficult for others. Self-belief IS a skill that CAN be developed by acknowledging accomplishments, strengths, and unique talents, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. Imagine what the future outcome feels like in the moment you realize it, and hold onto that feeling. Again, celebrate the successes, no matter how small, and to recognize the value in each little win and as a snowball rolls downhill, gathering momentum, growing larger and larger over time. Opportunities will arise to showcase the achievements, to receive feedback, which help reinforce a sense of self-confidence.

Building self-confidence is vital for natural and authentic expression in the confident pursuit of creative goals. Recognizing past achievements and strengths, setting realistic expectations, and practicing self-compassion are key. We touched on this at the beginning of this article, remember? Step outside your comfort zone and surround yourself with supportive people. Use creative visualization and positive affirmations to help solidify the positive belief in your mind. These strategies can help you build up self-confidence and pursue aspirations boldly.

Recognizing Achievements and Strengths

• Reflect on their past achievements and strengths.

• Identify moments where you felt proud of your accomplishments or received positive feedback from others.

• Imagine the feeling of end-game success. Imagine yourself in that moment, what does it look like? what does it feel like?

• Recognize achievements and strengths, no matter how small. This can be key to boosting your self-confidence and will show outwardly as a strong positive self-image.

Cultivating Resilience

Resilience is akin to ideas of perseverance, persistence, strength, commitment, etc. It is a mental skill that allows one to deal with challenges, setbacks, and rejection along the journey. Developing resilience allows for the management of stress, overcoming obstacles, and serves to strengthen the ability to bounce back from disappointments. A resilient mind might view failures as temporary setbacks and opportunities for learning and growth, rather than as indicators of a lack of worth or inability.

Cultivating resilience allows one to navigate challenges and setbacks in the pursuit of self-discovery. This involves developing healthy strategies for dealing with setbacks. Practicing self-compassion and learning from adversity is critical to developing resilience. By fostering resilience, one can bounce back from setbacks with renewed determination and thrive in any situation.

Understanding Resilience

• Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, adapt to change, and overcome setbacks.

• Resilience is a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time through practice and experience.

Coping Strategies

The word 'Cope' has become a common slang in the dominant paradigm in the current year, carrying a negative connotation. Coping strategies are not in and of themselves a bad thing, merely techniques for managing stress, anxiety, and disappointment. Techniques such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, and journaling to help understand and regulate emotions help to promote emotional resilience.

Fostering Positive Thinking

• Cultivate a positive outlook by focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on problems.

• Reframe negative situations as opportunities, viewing setbacks as temporary and surmountable obstacles on the path to success.

Social Support Networks

A strong social support network of friends, family, mentors, and colleagues can provide encouragement, empathy, and practical assistance during difficult times to foster a sense of community among those who are supportive of your efforts. Lean into camaraderie among your fellow artists by creating spaces for mutual support, collaboration, and shared experiences. This will provide you with people/places you can turn to if things get too difficult to face on your own. Remember, you don't have to go it alone. It's important to surround yourself with people who can trust you, people who can build you up, and people who are not afraid to call you out if there’s a weakness you could improve upon.

Realistic Expectations

Realistic expectations acknowledge the real-world limitations of one's pursuits. The world is real, it's not all sunshine and roses. Even though limiting beliefs can be reframed in ways that are more positive and constructive, its also important to acknowledge the reality of what's possible and what's not possible, while remembering that setbacks and failures are a natural part of the journey. It might be said that it's better to try-and-fail than never-to-try at all. Embrace the journey and recognize that progress often comes in fits-and-starts rather than linearly. You might find that in-the-moment, it seems like no progress is being made at all, but looking back one-year from now, you might be surprised at how much you've grown.

Practicing Self-Compassion

By practicing self-compassion and treating ones-self with kindness and understanding, especially when facing challenges and setbacks, it becomes easier to face obstacles. Remember that developing resilience is a game of re-framing one's self-talk. Don't beat yourself up over failures. it's okay to make mistakes. Failure does not define your worth or talent. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?"

Learning from Adversity

Reflect on past experiences, was there a time when you successfully navigated challenges or overcame obstacles? Extract lessons from negative past experiences, no matter how small. They can help you identify your strengths and skills, and which coping strategies you tend to adopt when times are tough. Once you're conscious of whats happening inside your mind, it becomes easier to 'flip the script' and start rewriting your own inner narrative to do-better in the future.

Seeking Support and Mentorship

One of the fastest accelerators of personal growth is to seek support from peers, mentors, coaches, or mental health professionals who can provide guidance, encouragement, and an objective perspective. Connecting with a supportive community of peers can help combat feelings of isolation and provide valuable insights and encouragement along the way.

Identify potential mentors and establish relationships by reaching out respectfully and expressing your goals and aspirations. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You might be surprised that people are willing to step up to show support in this direction. Mentors with specific experience can provide you with keen insights, while broad and diverse support networks offer emotional support and camaraderie to uplift and motivate. Actively seek feedback and maintain relationships with mentors and peers to help keep you accountable, it can be a huge catalyst for both your growth and theirs at the same time. Exploring different forms of mentorship can allow one to find what best suits your needs and learning style, whether its by personality or by specific skill sets. One-on-one mentorship can help you navigate through challenges more effectively and achieve goals faster and with more confidence.